Haibun: Why Keep Writing

I’m writing this on Alaska Airlines someplace above another forest fire in California, helplessly helping the ocean absorb more carbon. Not sure what to do about my desire to travel and the amount of fossil fuels that are burned to make it happen, but currently it’s the only way to get to Alaska and back in a week. So I type on in willful ignorance. 

As I fly, I want almost want to give up on faithfully putting something out each week. Now here I am, exhausted from working all week, entertaining my cousin, packing,  and now traveling, while genuinely conflicted about traveling to Alaska by plan, I type. My eyelids are irritated as I go key to key on my phone now, my keyboard and my coffee someplace in my past. 

But I type because I am becoming more settled in my incompleteness. I know by showing up each week my flaws leak out. I know I miss some of my mistakes and they are pointed out or quietly left, but I swallow my fears and my pride and fears and type. But I also type because I care about you and appreciate how many of you care about me. I find community here. But I keep saying that when we tell our stories we create or enable community. 

So as I type, I type in gratitude of you. In the end, this community that’s collected around these words makes a genuine warmth the cold hard facts of the algorithms will never give. So thank you!

 

green reaches its dusk

browns become a must, endings

summer’s fall bendings