Haibun: Late

Pulling up late again. ‘I could have left early, but I didn’t,’ I’d think to myself the moment before coming up with an excuse. Instead, I left five minutes behind and told myself I would make up the time. But with cinders down on the roads that still had snow banks, there was no making up time.

I would automatically say something about being held up at the office or the roads being bad. The excuses were always met with polite understanding. There were so many sales I left on the table back in those days, so many people I could have helped with their retirement. I look back now and wonder what I was thinking and if I’d still be in that business if I just owned my actions instead of playing the victim.

I believe those potential clients saw right through that. I was exposed as the ocotillo turned driftwood in the sun, but I gave the excuses for myself so I could feel safe.

ocotillo bones

rounded, puffy, white, and exposed 

like warming spring suns