Haibun: False Powers

In the desert, the brown is endless, save for the green by the rivers. The green is the thickest by the river and fades like an echo the further you get from the water. But by the river, it is as if the world is green.

So it is with privilege, power, and all these other places where insecurities live. The further you get from the country club, or a group of yes men, or the endless compliments of those dependent on the boss’ paycheck, the more the person fades. I once worked for a guy who was like this. Half way through closing a sales call, my manager would rush in to make me put the call on hold so the boss could close the deal. My manager knew what it took to make the owner feel his power. But outside of work, the owner was awkward, his insecurities bleeding through like sweat does through a T-shirt on a hot, humid day. The real world, for him, was scary because it wasn’t the pond Narcissus was able to stare into. 

There is a dark side to privilege and power: the absolute need to be in the places where one can be who they should be instead of who they are.  

Real power is forged in facing pain and the fears that keep us from ever returning towards that pain.

green by the river,

the desert sliver turns cold

as autumn quivers