Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Relax!

photo
http://www.flickr.com/photos/thepearl/3520646624/

Sitting down to write this post is kind of fascinating. Its been a difficult week to begin with, but last night when I went to type it up I found we had no working internet connection. We were planning to make the switch from one carrier to another, and I wasn't as aware of the shut off date as I thought. So, I'm at the library punching away at the key board. (But, its all good. Here is what I've been planning to write and you'll understand how it applies to me at the end!)


The Mistake
Sunday I was attending another service at Community Christian Church in White Marsh, MD. It was a different service than usual. The children's minister was on stage saying a few things after an all church kids service and the idea was the lead minister would join him and close everything out However, the lead minister wasn't showing up, so the children's minister started talking about other things. Finally the lead minister showed up.  At first it was a bit awkward, but than everything worked out. I was impressed!

 
The Resolution
Mistakes happen, its part of life. But what made this even so interesting is how the lead minister handled it. First thing he did was stay relaxed. He then said he was out talking and he thanked the children's minister for filling in. He continued to stay relaxed. Asked a few questions and then closed out the service.

The Insight
What made this so profound for me was that by him staying relaxed, myself and those around us could relax. It was if we said to each other, "Oh, everything's OK. Let's continue."

Mistakes happen for me. I tend to get worked up and express frustration thinking it will correct the problems. I've always assumed that it I express my frustration, people will help me out. What I've been finding out in life is that people tend to get frustrated themselves and things start to grind to a hold. I'm learning when I stay relaxed, everything becomes more conducive towards resolution.

More Insight
Another important thing to remember is the lead minister gave us permission to relax by continuing to stay relaxed himself. Over the years, he has built that trust so it was easier for us all to relax. Some situations don't afford us that luxury, but by getting worked up, we won't have any chance of ever building that trust. When we have the opportunity to build trust, we need to. It can pay off when we really need it too.

With this said, I've stayed relaxed about the situations that have been rising up. I'm trying to give permission to those around me to stay relaxed when dealing with me. What about you, do you give the rest of us permission to stay relaxed?

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4 Comments:

At October 11, 2010 at 3:36 AM , Blogger Marc Edwards said...

VERY good lesson learned. I always try to get your dad to realize, too, that getting worked up does not change the situation. It compounds the problem.

 
At October 13, 2010 at 4:31 PM , Blogger Marc Edwards said...

Funny I was thinking the same thing! I was so impressed with how he just took responsibility for missing his cue and didn't try to cover it up. We are all human and it was a great lesson in humility and trust. He trusted us enough as a family to overlook his mistake. Great tie in for initiative- he saw what needed to be done and did it.

 
At October 13, 2010 at 4:55 PM , Blogger Marc Edwards said...

Thank you Mom! I appreciate the support. It a hard lesson to learn. It's actually a habit and those take a long time to relearn.

 
At October 13, 2010 at 4:55 PM , Blogger Marc Edwards said...

Thank you Lisa. You are right, he took initiative! Great point. I'm looking at this post and wondering if it would have been better if I took the initiave angle.

 

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